Posted by Back in 2017, my husband and I, along with some friends from Belgium, attended our traditional Chinese wedding in Huainan, Anhui province in China. Every single moment at the wedding was fun and memorable. However, in my past wedding blog, and also on our own wedding, we did not yet touch upon another Chinese wedding tradition: Naohun.
Naohun is a Chinese word, it means the guests haze the wedding couple at their own wedding, which also can be translated as “disturbing a wedding”. It is a tradition of Chinese weddings since the Han dynasty (221–207 BC). It refers to a range of activities the guests invented to tease the couple, especially the bride. The custom has faded in big cities but remains popular elsewhere.
Why does naohun exist as a tradition at a Chinese wedding?
In ancient Chinese society, most weddings are arranged by the parents. It is possible that during the wedding day, in the wedding chamber, when the groom unveils the bride’s scarf on the head, the couple first meets.
On the wedding night, the couple is supposed to have sex, for the first time (especially for the bride, as a man can have multiple wives). It is commonly accepted that the naohun tradition exists as a way for the guest to lighten up the mood of the couple and break the ice. Additionally, since the couple is married quite young, (my grandmother got married when she was 14), the naohun activities also serve as sex education by teasing the bride.
How does naohun evolve on a modern Chinese wedding?
Most Chinese couples no longer accept arranged marriages, the couple might have known each other for quite some time (for me it was 8 years before we got married), and sex education on a wedding day is no longer relevant. As a result, the value of naohun no longer serves modern weddings.
Most modern weddings keep the fun part but leave the naohun out, all the weddings I have attended in recent years, it was not part of it.
However, as it is part of the tradition in previous generations, some regions (especially in smaller cities) still keep the tradition. Most of the guests keep it fun and entertaining, but sometimes the hazing process might trigger the monster in the guests and play it too much, often involves violence or sexual harassment. Most of the time, the couple has to bear it and keep smiling otherwise it might spoil the “good” atmosphere on an important day, it is a sign of unlucky for the marriage.
Some incidents in recent years about naohun provoked thoughts and generated some discussions
On 6th October 2017, in Shandong province, a groom got a concussion because the guests threw him on a chair as part of naohun “fun”.
2016, May 1st, a groom was tied on a tree and the guests attempted to set the firecrackers on him.
The most absurd ones are the sexual harassment on the bride in the wedding chamber.
From teasing the bride to the bridesmaid
Teasing the bride can be tricky, there were cases that the bride got upset and simply left her own wedding as she could not stand the harassment by the guests. So recently it has become more and more common for the guests to tease the bridesmaid instead. As bridesmaids have the obligation to protect the bride, and obviously they do not pay for the wedding, so it is rather common that they become the victims as part of naohun.
On 30th March 2016, at the wedding of a Chinese actor Bao Bei’er, the guests insisted to throw one of the beautiful bridesmaid Liu Yan (an actress) into the water as part of the naohun, luckily her friend Jia ling, sat in front to protect her and insisted to give the guys money bags instead of allowing any such things happen.
This incident has provoked a lot of discussions of Chinese netizens about the controversy of naohun tradition.
Wedding reform from the government
Since April 2021, the Chinese government has started the wedding reform pilot with Henan province and has expanded to 15 regions. The main idea of the wedding reform includes naohun, a high amount of caili (Gift money given by the groom’s family to the bride’s), and excessive food waste during a wedding.
Let’s hope the wedding day leaves good memories for the couple and also friends, but not nightmares.
More about Chinese wedding:
0. Introduction
1. Wedding decorations
2. Gate crash
3. Tea ceremony
4. Chinese wedding outfit and Chinese sedan
5. Formal ceremony – Bai tang(拜堂)
6. Bridal chamber rituals
7. Wedding Proposal
8. Pre-wedding photo shooting(Behind the scenes)
9. Chinese wedding agency
10. Our wedding lunch menu
11. Our wedding program 1: Fetch the bride
12. Our wedding program 2: The lunch ceremony
13. Our final wedding video
14. The hazing of wedding couples – Naohun
References:
Naohun on Chinese weddings and some incidents
https://www.thepaper.cn/newsDetail_forward_1824882
https://kknews.cc/zh-sg/news/65gl9oq.html
http://slide.news.sina.com.cn/s/slide_1_2841_98508.html#p=1
A bride angrily left the wedding as she was sexually harassed by the guest
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