Chinese wedding traditions: 7. Wedding Proposal

The traditional Chinese wedding proposal was not as romantic as nowadays.
Modern Chinese or Western wedding proposal:

In Chinese culture, getting married is considered a joint of 2 families, the traditional wedding proposal is actually initiated by the groom’s families.

The groom’s parents visit the bride’s family and offer them a grand wedding gift including food, cigarettes, wine, jewelry made of gold, silver, jade, and so on.

Nowadays the wedding gift is most probably a red envelope with cash inside.

 

An engagement ring is not part of the wedding proposal!

No, we don’t have an engagement ring. In the wedding proposal gift, the bride might get some precious jewelry like a necklace made of gold, or a piece of rare jade. Most of the gifts are for the family of the bride in order to thank them for raising the daughter.

Actually, I don’t know why traditionally the engagement ring was not a thing in Chinese culture, in fact, wedding rings also don’t exist, the ancient Chinese are not obliged to wear wedding rings after marriage.

How do we identify if a Chinese person is married or not?

So we cannot see from someone’s finger if he or she is married, is there another way to identify?

For ladies you can see it from her hairstyle, this custom has been kept for thousands of years.
Basically, the ladies need to put their hair in a bun/up-do after getting married. This is because the hair was considered as most precious and sexy part of a girl showing to other people. After getting married, the lady should hide it so that they do not get attention from other guys.

Before marriage Han dynasty(206 BC–220 AD):

After marriage Han dynasty(206 BC–220 AD):

Before marriage Republic of China(1912-1949):

After marriage Republic of China(1912-1949):

What about a guy?
There is no hair or outfit change before and after a guy gets married, in fact, there is no need because monogamy is only introduced around 1930, ancient Chinese guys do not have to show others “Attention, I’m married!”

As you can see, the difference is quite big between Chinese traditional wedding proposals and western proposals. Although we have got more and more international, tradition is still driving us at different levels.
Now I am crossing my fingers, hoping that I get an engagement ring if my bf proposes 😀 Just kidding.

More about Traditional Chinese wedding:

0. Introduction
1. Wedding decorations
2. Gate crash
3. Tea ceremony
4. Chinese wedding outfit and Chinese sedan
5. Formal ceremony – Bai tang(拜堂)
6. Bridal chamber rituals
7. Wedding Proposal
8. Pre-wedding photo shooting(Behind the scenes)
9. Chinese wedding agency
10. Our wedding lunch menu
11. Our wedding program 1: Fetch the bride
12. Our wedding program 2: The lunch ceremony
13. Our final wedding video
14. The hazing of wedding couples – Naohun

 

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