Posted by Marriage certificate, a piece of paper, for security, for the commitment of love, or just because everyone else is having one? Most of us enter marriage at a relatively young age, around 20-30 years old, complying with social conformities. Since then, life enters into repetitiveness and dullness, then there come children, life becomes chaotic, when children grow older, then wonder the married parents: can we continue to grow together as a couple?
Does it sound familiar? Recently I spoke to some friends who had their marriages ended recently or a few years ago, and we talked about their current lifestyle. Surprisingly, there are quite some interesting and unique characteristics of being a divorcee in Belgium.
Belgian marriage and divorces in 2019
According to Statbel, in the year 2019, there were 44,270 marriages registered but also 22,430 divorces registered in Belgium. On average, a Belgian marriage lasts about 15 years.
In Belgium, you don’t need to be married to conceive a child, in fact, according to the stats from Statbel in 2018, more than half of the newborns are from unmarried couples.
Children custody for a separated or divorced couple
Since 2006, Belgium reformed the law on the equally shared alternating residence and care for the children after a divorce or separation. In short, separated or divorced couples should try to raise their children with equality. The most common arrangement is weekly custody. Children go to live with their separated parents in alternative weeks while keeping all other activities unaffected.
When God closes a door, he opens a window, but it’s up to you to find it.
Jeannette Walls
Life style changes for the divorced parents
This kind of unique custody brings some advantages for the separated parents, they can arrange their life accordingly.
For instance, a friend of mine recently got divorced, so he scheduled all his social and sports activities to the week without children, and the other week concentrating on quality time with the children. According to him, he can switch between being a responsible father, and a free single man on a weekly basis, which is quite exciting.
The lifestyle of the remarried parents
Another friend got divorced 2 years ago and recently remarried to another (also previously divorced) lady. In total, they have 4 children (2 from both sides), but only on alternative weeks. He told me that he is quite happy with his current lifestyle, one week very busy with all the little ones, while another week, a whole week of romantic time alone with his partner. You cannot possibly imagine this kind of lifestyle in a normal marriage, where the repetitiveness and dullness kill all the romance which eventually results in divorce.
He even joked about advising others to first marry someone you like (but not love), have children, and then divorce and look for true love to spend the life together.
Thinking about it, it sounds funny but actually makes quite some sense. How is the custody arrangements in your country, and what do you think of the Belgian arrangements?
Discover more about flemish people here: Get to know more about flemish people.
Read more about Belgium:
Manage your resignation in Belgium
What should you do after getting a job offer in Belgium
How can you spend the 250 euro eco cheques?
Tas refund in Belgium – Optimise your income tax
Health insurance, are you using it to its full potential?
Check all the leaves you might have missed while working in Belgium
Back to school – working student in Belgium
Fun facts about divorces in Belgium
Holiday periods – Belgium vs China
Getting to know about Flemish people
Recommended movie: Kramer vs. Kramer (1979)
42 years passed, this movie is still one of my favorites. The story is about a divorced couple fighting for custody of the child and all the dramas about marriage, work, female power, etc. Looking back you can catch the trace of the time elapsed, from the scenes as well as the faces of the actor and actress. Meryl Streep’s acting as a mother was absolutely incredible, touching, and real.
References:
https://statbel.fgov.be/en/themes/population/partnership/marriages
https://statbel.fgov.be/en/themes/population/partnership/divorces
https://statbel.fgov.be/en/themes/population/partnership/declarations-legal-cohabitation
https://fkce.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/00031/#:~:text=Belgium%20has%20introduced%20radical%20reforms%20to%20its%20child%20custody%20laws.&text=Not%20only%20do%20both%20parents,’alternating%20residence%20and%20care’.
https://statbel.fgov.be/en/news/mother-average-31-years-old-birth-child
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0079417/
Photo by cottonbro from Pexels
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