How to deal with rude emails at work?

Since the start of lockdown (thanks to the pandemic), I have noticed that the number of emails has more than doubled. Unfortunately, I have never been a fan of emails, I send emails for very specific and formal reasons such as status updates, important conclusions, escalations etc; I read emails only a few times per day, as logically, the most urgent things come via ping or direct calls.

There is no workplace called Utopia, the workplace is composed of people, and they have feelings. From time to time you might have to deal with some unprofessional emails due to reasons such as frustrations, prejudice, or simply, shit happens at the wrong moment. And typically, the unprofessional emails might be addressed to you with quite some audiences in CC, it is up to you how to play to make sure you handle this elegantly, with the audience “watching”. In this post, I would like to give some suggestions to you on how to react professionally if you are in such situations.

1. Take some time before hitting the reply button
Usually, when receiving a rude email, people get hurt and react immediately. However, bear in mind that we are in 2020, the email client is almost always connected, the recall function might not work at the moment you need it most. If you send an email impulsively, you might well regret it afterward.

Read the email again and see if you misinterpreted the original email? Perhaps the person’s intention is not what you imagined?

2. Never ever respond back with rude or unprofessional emails, and never start one
If you feel hurt after reading an email from the offender, then you should know the same will happen if you send back similar emails, and it will just escalate the situation.

And, most importantly, the fact that the “offender” sending such emails says more about himself/herself than you. If you respond with an unprofessional email, you are just lowering yourself to the same level, which is bad for your image. Email fighting is one of the ugliest behaviours in the workplace and it is highly unprofessional.

3. Reach out to the offender offline to find out why he or she behaves like that
Sometimes the frustration comes from very specific reasons, you might like to find out why and offer some help. This kind of conversation will be delicate, let the body language and facial impression contribute to smooth the situation, that’s why I would recommend reaching offline in person, or via a call (with the camera on). Most of the time, you should be able to sort out the situation to some degree, and then you can write back to him (with the audience) with elegance, you can start with “As discussed…”.

4. Let your manager handle this
Sometimes the communication might go out of control and whatever you do will only cause further damage, it is better to simply escalate to your manager, make sure you communicate clearly what is the situation so he or she can have all the info to respond professionally and protect you.

5. Share it with HR and your manager
Sometimes it comes to a point that continuous rude emails from certain people can be considered harassment. And digital harassment leaves its trace. If it contains a personal attack or abusive language, you can take it up with HR and your manager.

6. Respond with fact, and leave the emotions out of it
If after careful consideration, you are planning to respond to an unprofessional email, then I suggest you state only the fact, and leave emotion out of it, keep your message concise and clear, don’t write an essay, nobody has time for it with hundreds of inflows every day.

7. No response, is also a response
As a professional, sometimes you can also decide that the unprofessional email is non-sense and it is not worth your time and energy to react at all.

Sometimes, this is even the strongest message to the unprofessionalism in the workplace.

This unprecedented pandemic has brought an impact on all of us, mentally and physically, communication is also much harder with teleworking all the time, so I hope you stay calm when dealing with unprofessional situations. And before sending out a (potential) rude email, consider how others might interpret it and what the consequence it might bring to yourself and others.

How to deal with unprofessional emails at work?

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